I find it weird, fascinating in fact. It is 9:40 at night and I am here on the balcony of my house. I love silence. I love the stars. I love the night sky. I think this time of the day feels serene. I feel at peace. I love the environment and more so because Tihar has started. Tihar might just be my favorite festival. Everything is so bright. I feel bright. Wonderful. Ecstatic.

I have been staring at the road for quite some time now. I have been witnessing people walk by my house. It has been around an hour, and I haven’t seen a woman walk once, and yet I have seen a drunkard, another guy probably a workaholic returning home, men casually walking, and

another man cursing his wife and shouting at the top of his lungs whilst driving and many men riding their bikes. I am fascinated, and shocked by the realization of the fact that how I perceive the night-time is not how the majority of men do. Standing here on the balcony, when I look at the

road, illuminated by the streetlights but obscured with fear, I feel petrified.

I can’t picture myself walking to my house while being drunk. Not that I fantasize about it, but I just can’t. Five years down the line, when I will probably be employed, I really can’t be sure if I will be able to ride back home alone. I can’t picture myself walking on the road, like those men, who probably went for a night walk. Night walks are non-existent for me and most ladies. I can go for an evening walk at most. I don’t imagine myself shouting while walking on the road of course I can do better than that. Exceptional cases may arise though, don’t come at me if you find me screaming when I recently had a breakup. You see, I am pretty emotional.

All of this is appalling to me because I wouldn’t dare to step on the road past 8 pm. I wouldn’t. Couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t. In the past, I couldn’t. At present, I shouldn’t. And in the future, I definitely wouldn’t. Who is to be blamed if I encounter one of these men I saw tonight? Tell me who is to assure me that I won’t get groped by the drunkard? Tell me if the workaholic won’t catcall me whilst I am walking on the footpath. The men casually walking on the road won’t try to take advantage of a girl walking alone. At night. Guarantee it. Let me know if my partner won’t shout at me as the man did to his wife. Assure my safety from the creeps when I ride back to my home from a long day at work. Can you?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I have never walked on the road at night. I have. I have multiple memories of that. The only thing to mention is that every time I go out at night, another person accompanies me. A male. A brother, a lover, or my father. I need to feel their presence around me to feel safe. I wonder why is it that I need to be safe from people, from men, who are in fact somebody’s brother, somebody’s lover, somebody’s father.

Does it mean other females need to keep safe from my brother, my lover, or my father?


Do I need to fear my own brother?

Do I need to keep safe from my own lover?

Do I need to be saved from my own father? Do I?